Something in the Air Tonight?

You wake up some day, open your eyes and suddenly you don’t remember what was hard the night before. The weight has gone, you feel almost ok. You don’t know why, still, and this frightens you deeply. But you don’t think about that. You think about the lightness you feel, the warm comfort of being here, alive, unharmed. And you don’t know how the weight disappeared byt it’s fine anyway.
And you’re lying down, eyes open and you’re fine the way you are, or so you think. Because this lightness starts to weight upon your shoulders, upon your whole body… And you feel like this lightness is not real. You feel it and it’s not there. And you decide you will not let it take you down. But it’s hard to remain calm, and light as well. Because you know you’re making it up. You know it’s not there, you know it will eventually disappear and most of all you know it’s only some new deception you won’t recover from.

* * *

A tear drops and a smile starts to exist. It would be wonderful to be able to claim that you’re happy, that you feel this lightness and confidence you’ve lacked of for the past few weeks. It would be amazing to say that you are now ready to give this trust again, this incredible belief in someone. It would be wonderful to have someine near you, wonderful. You hope sometime it will happen. But you’re not so sure. Not so sure about anything… About him, about you, about them who no longer exist. Have they ever, or is it all a dream?